what the f**ing i feel right now

since when I feel it's better you go, than you here by my side?
since when it's better for me to stay away from you, while having fun with you like we did, usually?
since when I feel so numb, than an exciting feelings like I used to feel when you were around?
since when I feel so sad than cheer all the times when you got to my place?

I don't know.

I feel better when I shut my mouth, cause nothing to discuss between us, and whatever it is, it's surely nothing I care about. It looks okay from outside, but you know? It's so much hard to trough than it looks like.